Life being what it is will always demand sacrifices from us and in truth, making such sacrifices is one of those things that make us retain all the vestiges of humanity in us even when the natural tendency is to be bestial even if for a little while.
The intriguing thing though is that sometimes we trust too much but the question is what other options are open to us? Must we look upon everyone we meet through the veneer of distrust and hate just because we have chosen to live life as loners who naturally find running away from others enjoyable? Must we choose to see only the evil in others and close our eyes to the good that is in them just because we have had some bitter experiences in the past and do not want our fingers burnt again? These are questions, questions and certainly more questions which beg for answers every day of our lives.
What happens then when our trust is betrayed by others friends and strangers alike? As passengers, we trust the operators of public transport to provide the services for which we pay them and not for them to make it a habit of stopping halfway through the journey blaming one of many possible reasons, engine-related or not. As citizens of a nation say Nigeria, we trust our elected officials and political office holders to provide us with the so-called dividends of democracy and thus make life better for us. As patients we trust our medical doctors and other medical personnel to provide us with the best health care within the ambit of their professional calling. As spouses and lovers, we trust our partners and significant others to make sure they do all the right things at the right time to sustain our relationships. As students we trust our teachers and lecturers to teach us the right things and to set good examples always.
Trust is one of the fundamental virtues of human life that we just cannot do without and whether or not our trust is kept we just must trust because that is the foundation of corporate existence in the first place. Undoubtedly the best situations are such that trust is not betrayed by the recipient but for that to be so, everyone who is trusted to do something must make sure they give a good account of themselves as far as holding that trust is concerned.
The way I see it, we must always trust in people whether or not we are going to get that trust held in high esteem. It reminds me of the enigma of love and of the possible implications of love that is unrequited. The possibilities are endless if we can all learn to trust one another and if those of us who are seen as worthy of another's trust do our best to remain true to that trust. So even if you have had bitter experiences, do not be afraid to try again!
ExperTrans language - multilingual services
ExperTrans voice-overs services
ExperTrans interpreting translation services
Wednesday, 29 August 2012
Why People Are Important
If you're an introvert like me, you might know the thought that "other people aren't that important". Or at least that "friends aren't so important". And that you can be just fine (or even very happy) on your own.
So why surround yourself with people at all? And why ever make an effort to meet somebody new?
I've lived both lives: The life without people and the life with people. Both lives are able to make me happy. However, I now tend to prefer the life with people.
I mean, just look at all the advantages you got when you have people in your life:
Joy
First and foremost: People can bring an immense amount of joy into your life. Think about how good it can feel to talk to others, to laugh with others or to play with others.
Help
Of course you are fine on your own. However there are going to be plenty of situations where it would be nice if you had someone to help you with something. For example, if my family and friends wouldn't have helped me moving, I'd probably still sit in Bavaria. Or what if you're in an emotional emergency? Or in a real emergency? Wouldn't it be nice if you had people in your life?
New Perspectives
People can open up new worlds for you. At least if you let them. Every person has her or his own individual perspectives. If you are open to those perspectives, they are able to change your world. For example, my brother helped me to develop a more accurate view on politics, which now helps me to understand the world and my role in the world better.
Opportunities
People are a mine of opportunities! In fact, almost all of my career opportunities (roles in theater plays, composition jobs, gigs, writing jobs... ) came from my existing social network. But there were also a lot of non-career-related opportunities that came from my social network that made my life more enjoyable: When I had no money, people often invited me for drinks. People also sometimes set my name on the guest lists of their concerts, parties or events - that way I was able to enjoy some entertaining evenings for free or very little money.
New Energies
From the intention manifestation/law of attraction perspective, every person carries other vibrations. If you want to manifest a new intention into your life (for example "more travelling"), the manifesting process will be much faster when you surround yourself with people who already carry this energy in them. In the travel example would choose people who travel often and don't think that this is special.
Teachers
People are always teachers. They won't only teach you by what they say but also by what they do. You will learn a lot about yourself when you interact with other people. About your social insecurities and about your social strengths. Yes, even as an introvert you can have social strengths! People will teach you about trust, patience, diplomacy, justice, acceptance, love, freedom, intimacy, leadership and a lot more.
You Create Your Social Environment
If you feel like your current or former social environment can't/couldn't give you anything of the above (or not enough), you might have created the wrong social environment.
The right social environment consists of people who are compatible with you.
Compatible people are people who share something with you personality-wise: They might share hobbies or interests with you or they might share values or political perspectives with you.
Compatibility is the condition for connection. That means it's the condition for relationships that work. And compatible relationships will also give you at least some of the advantages I have listed above.
Generally I enjoy contact with all kinds of people. However, I chose very well with whom I want to spend more time with and with whom I won't. It's not because I'm arrogant. It's because I want to spend my time as enjoyable as I can - so I will always choose the more compatible relationships over the less compatible ones.
So, if you're not content with your current social network, I would suggest, you disconnect with everyone who is incompatible at first. Then start looking for more compatible people.
You don't need people who are 100% compatible with you. In fact, that would be boring. Instead look for people who are compatible with you in some areas of your life: Maybe they also like playing video games or maybe they're also into personal development.
For introverts it's often hard to find new friends. But it's something you can definitely learn. However, be prepared that you need to meet a lot of new people in order to find the really interesting ones. Creating a compatible social network is just another skill you need learn.
For Introverts
Having a big social network doesn't mean that you have to spend all your time socializing, btw. I would go crazy if I needed to do that!
I still live alone, for example, and enjoy it very much. Living alone helps me to balance my introverted with my extroverted site: By default I'm alone (introverted) but because of my big social network I can connect with people (extroverted) anytime I want to.
But even if you don't live alone you don't need to (and should not!) neglect your introverted side. Make sure that you have enough time and room for yourself every day.
If you don't do that, you might never be in the mood to socialize with anybody!
Online People
When I talk about people in this article, I don't mean people you only know over the internet. I mean people in your actual physical environment. People who can hug you, people who you can talk face to face with. An online community is never a replacement for a community of real people. So if you think you're social life isn't that bad because you spend your whole day on Facebook, read this article again (and read "real people" anytime I wrote "people").
Don't Be a Mooch
Above I listed all the beautiful things that people can bring to your life. But let me be clear: There's no taking without giving. And if you're only trying to "get" something from people, you will not only creep them out (and come off as needy) but you will also never be able to build a healthy social network.
But don't let that scare you off: The good thing about giving is that's it's immensely fulfilling! And soon you might find that the giving part is one of the biggest motivators to connect with people.
ExperTrans language - multilingual services
ExperTrans voice-overs services
ExperTrans interpreting translation services
So why surround yourself with people at all? And why ever make an effort to meet somebody new?
I've lived both lives: The life without people and the life with people. Both lives are able to make me happy. However, I now tend to prefer the life with people.
I mean, just look at all the advantages you got when you have people in your life:
Joy
First and foremost: People can bring an immense amount of joy into your life. Think about how good it can feel to talk to others, to laugh with others or to play with others.
Help
Of course you are fine on your own. However there are going to be plenty of situations where it would be nice if you had someone to help you with something. For example, if my family and friends wouldn't have helped me moving, I'd probably still sit in Bavaria. Or what if you're in an emotional emergency? Or in a real emergency? Wouldn't it be nice if you had people in your life?
New Perspectives
People can open up new worlds for you. At least if you let them. Every person has her or his own individual perspectives. If you are open to those perspectives, they are able to change your world. For example, my brother helped me to develop a more accurate view on politics, which now helps me to understand the world and my role in the world better.
Opportunities
People are a mine of opportunities! In fact, almost all of my career opportunities (roles in theater plays, composition jobs, gigs, writing jobs... ) came from my existing social network. But there were also a lot of non-career-related opportunities that came from my social network that made my life more enjoyable: When I had no money, people often invited me for drinks. People also sometimes set my name on the guest lists of their concerts, parties or events - that way I was able to enjoy some entertaining evenings for free or very little money.
New Energies
From the intention manifestation/law of attraction perspective, every person carries other vibrations. If you want to manifest a new intention into your life (for example "more travelling"), the manifesting process will be much faster when you surround yourself with people who already carry this energy in them. In the travel example would choose people who travel often and don't think that this is special.
Teachers
People are always teachers. They won't only teach you by what they say but also by what they do. You will learn a lot about yourself when you interact with other people. About your social insecurities and about your social strengths. Yes, even as an introvert you can have social strengths! People will teach you about trust, patience, diplomacy, justice, acceptance, love, freedom, intimacy, leadership and a lot more.
You Create Your Social Environment
If you feel like your current or former social environment can't/couldn't give you anything of the above (or not enough), you might have created the wrong social environment.
The right social environment consists of people who are compatible with you.
Compatible people are people who share something with you personality-wise: They might share hobbies or interests with you or they might share values or political perspectives with you.
Compatibility is the condition for connection. That means it's the condition for relationships that work. And compatible relationships will also give you at least some of the advantages I have listed above.
Generally I enjoy contact with all kinds of people. However, I chose very well with whom I want to spend more time with and with whom I won't. It's not because I'm arrogant. It's because I want to spend my time as enjoyable as I can - so I will always choose the more compatible relationships over the less compatible ones.
So, if you're not content with your current social network, I would suggest, you disconnect with everyone who is incompatible at first. Then start looking for more compatible people.
You don't need people who are 100% compatible with you. In fact, that would be boring. Instead look for people who are compatible with you in some areas of your life: Maybe they also like playing video games or maybe they're also into personal development.
For introverts it's often hard to find new friends. But it's something you can definitely learn. However, be prepared that you need to meet a lot of new people in order to find the really interesting ones. Creating a compatible social network is just another skill you need learn.
For Introverts
Having a big social network doesn't mean that you have to spend all your time socializing, btw. I would go crazy if I needed to do that!
I still live alone, for example, and enjoy it very much. Living alone helps me to balance my introverted with my extroverted site: By default I'm alone (introverted) but because of my big social network I can connect with people (extroverted) anytime I want to.
But even if you don't live alone you don't need to (and should not!) neglect your introverted side. Make sure that you have enough time and room for yourself every day.
If you don't do that, you might never be in the mood to socialize with anybody!
Online People
When I talk about people in this article, I don't mean people you only know over the internet. I mean people in your actual physical environment. People who can hug you, people who you can talk face to face with. An online community is never a replacement for a community of real people. So if you think you're social life isn't that bad because you spend your whole day on Facebook, read this article again (and read "real people" anytime I wrote "people").
Don't Be a Mooch
Above I listed all the beautiful things that people can bring to your life. But let me be clear: There's no taking without giving. And if you're only trying to "get" something from people, you will not only creep them out (and come off as needy) but you will also never be able to build a healthy social network.
But don't let that scare you off: The good thing about giving is that's it's immensely fulfilling! And soon you might find that the giving part is one of the biggest motivators to connect with people.
ExperTrans language - multilingual services
ExperTrans voice-overs services
ExperTrans interpreting translation services
The Party Pooper, The Train Wreck, and 5 Other Friends You Don't Want To Have Or Be
If only you could have a crystal ball so that you would be able to predict the reliability of your friendships with others. Unfortunately, we only have a trial and error system that comes with pain and frustration. Here are seven types of friends that spell trouble, so watch out:
1) The Party Pooper. This friend is also known as The Wet Blanket and The Bubble Buster. They seem to walk around with a rain cloud over their head that can darken even the brightest day. If you've just received a promotion at work, they'll remind you of how the corporate grind will use you up and spit you out. If you've fallen in love, they'll remind you of psycho stalkers from hell. These types of friends will not share in your happiness so you might want to keep your good news to yourself.
2) The Magician. You thought you had found your life-long best friend. Things were going great and the bond was amazing. You did everything together and then POOF, they disappeared. This "now you see them; now you don't" behavior is very hurtful as well as confusing. You'll question what you did wrong but you're baffled. When they suddenly reappear again, they have a new best friend. You feel rejected and jealous but their behavior has little to do with you. These friends are commitment phobic. They are always moving from one relationship to another. Their new best friend will be in your shoes in the near future.
"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." ~ Unknown
3) The Train Wreck. You had no idea a person could have so many problems. This friend has you on speed dial. They will call you at all hours with problems ranging from relationship catastrophes to financial misfortune. Part of you feels sorry for this friend but another side of you is aggravated because even though they ask for your advice; they really don't want it nor do they truly listen to it. The Train Wreck is usually a very willful person who creates messes but refuses to take any responsibility.
"When you choose your friends, don't be short-changed by choosing personality over character."
~W. Somerset Maugham
4) The Promise Breaker. "I'll be there for sure. You can count on me. I won't let you down this time." But they do. This person makes a lot of promises but routinely breaks them or doesn't keep them at all. They are not reliable and won't be there when you need them. If you are guilty of this trust-breaking behavior, you should remember to promise only what you can deliver. Then deliver more than you promise. I like this quote from Norman Vincent Peale; "Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once."
5) It's All About Me. You've just received bad news. You call your friend to tell them and gain their support. No sooner have you stated the situation to them, this friend says, "That's nice but guess what happened to me today?" The "It's All About Me Friend" only wants to talk about themselves. These people are very self absorbed. This is a very one sided friendship. They only listen to you because they are waiting for their turn to speak. You'll probably get more emotional comfort from talking to your plants or your dog than calling this person.
6) The Spy. These people infiltrate your life only to gain access to your assets or your information. They purposely pour on the charm to win you over. They tell you what you want to hear so that you will loosen up and spill the goods. You will notice these people ask a lot of questions and need to know everything. Their goal may be to use you to get close to someone else in your life; your boss, your sister, your dad and his connections. You'll spot these two faced deceivers by how they try to eavesdrop on your conversations and their intrusive questions to fill in the gaps of what they weren't able to overhear.
7) The One Upper. This friend is very competitive and has to be the best or at least have the best. They are typically overachievers. They tend to build themselves up by making others feel inferior. They will often show off at your expense. True friends don't have to constantly impress each other. Friendships shouldn't be based on one winning and one losing. These friends need a lot of external validation but don't realize how they aggravate others by trying to be impressive. You can spot these friends whenever you tell a story. Their version tells how they did more and were better at it than you.
"Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." ~ Muhammad Ali
ExperTrans language - multilingual services
ExperTrans voice-overs services
ExperTrans interpreting translation services
1) The Party Pooper. This friend is also known as The Wet Blanket and The Bubble Buster. They seem to walk around with a rain cloud over their head that can darken even the brightest day. If you've just received a promotion at work, they'll remind you of how the corporate grind will use you up and spit you out. If you've fallen in love, they'll remind you of psycho stalkers from hell. These types of friends will not share in your happiness so you might want to keep your good news to yourself.
2) The Magician. You thought you had found your life-long best friend. Things were going great and the bond was amazing. You did everything together and then POOF, they disappeared. This "now you see them; now you don't" behavior is very hurtful as well as confusing. You'll question what you did wrong but you're baffled. When they suddenly reappear again, they have a new best friend. You feel rejected and jealous but their behavior has little to do with you. These friends are commitment phobic. They are always moving from one relationship to another. Their new best friend will be in your shoes in the near future.
"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." ~ Unknown
3) The Train Wreck. You had no idea a person could have so many problems. This friend has you on speed dial. They will call you at all hours with problems ranging from relationship catastrophes to financial misfortune. Part of you feels sorry for this friend but another side of you is aggravated because even though they ask for your advice; they really don't want it nor do they truly listen to it. The Train Wreck is usually a very willful person who creates messes but refuses to take any responsibility.
"When you choose your friends, don't be short-changed by choosing personality over character."
~W. Somerset Maugham
4) The Promise Breaker. "I'll be there for sure. You can count on me. I won't let you down this time." But they do. This person makes a lot of promises but routinely breaks them or doesn't keep them at all. They are not reliable and won't be there when you need them. If you are guilty of this trust-breaking behavior, you should remember to promise only what you can deliver. Then deliver more than you promise. I like this quote from Norman Vincent Peale; "Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once."
5) It's All About Me. You've just received bad news. You call your friend to tell them and gain their support. No sooner have you stated the situation to them, this friend says, "That's nice but guess what happened to me today?" The "It's All About Me Friend" only wants to talk about themselves. These people are very self absorbed. This is a very one sided friendship. They only listen to you because they are waiting for their turn to speak. You'll probably get more emotional comfort from talking to your plants or your dog than calling this person.
6) The Spy. These people infiltrate your life only to gain access to your assets or your information. They purposely pour on the charm to win you over. They tell you what you want to hear so that you will loosen up and spill the goods. You will notice these people ask a lot of questions and need to know everything. Their goal may be to use you to get close to someone else in your life; your boss, your sister, your dad and his connections. You'll spot these two faced deceivers by how they try to eavesdrop on your conversations and their intrusive questions to fill in the gaps of what they weren't able to overhear.
7) The One Upper. This friend is very competitive and has to be the best or at least have the best. They are typically overachievers. They tend to build themselves up by making others feel inferior. They will often show off at your expense. True friends don't have to constantly impress each other. Friendships shouldn't be based on one winning and one losing. These friends need a lot of external validation but don't realize how they aggravate others by trying to be impressive. You can spot these friends whenever you tell a story. Their version tells how they did more and were better at it than you.
"Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." ~ Muhammad Ali
ExperTrans language - multilingual services
ExperTrans voice-overs services
ExperTrans interpreting translation services
Tuesday, 28 August 2012
Writing Online Articles Is a Great Way to Meet New Friends Around the Planet
After I retired, I started writing articles online, and I was amazed at how many new friends around the planet I had garnered in the first year. Now that I've been doing this for about seven years with thousands of articles, I am literally blown away by the number of people I know in countries around the world. Every time I read something in the news such as a natural disaster, I can simply e-mail a friend and ask them how things are going there. And I get the real information, not the garbage we get in the news media. Okay so let's talk about this for second shall we?
I believe the global Internet system has now brought the human race closer together, and it will prevent wars in the future, and help everyone understand each other's religions, culture, and way of life. It's amazing that people around the planet have the same fears, desires, and needs. Sometimes you wouldn't assume this by reading the newspaper or watching the news. It is nice to know the reality, and not be beholden to merely allow the forced fed media reports to jade your opinions.
Indeed, I've talked to people from New Zealand, Australia, South Pacific islanders, and people from China, Japan, South Korea, Vietnam, Singapore, and just about every other nation in that region. I talked with people from the Middle East, from Africa, and of course all through Europe. I've spoken with people from Central America and South America, and even our neighbors Canada and Mexico. I've sent e-mails to people in Russia, and even someone working on a project at the South Pole, I suppose via satellite.
How did all this transpire you ask? Well, people read articles I write, and then they contact me by e-mail. People are listening, people are talking, and people are communicating around the world. Yes, they do this on social networks, but if you will share your experiences, your dreams, and your fears in online articles, the world will respond from all corners, you will be blown away. Now then, even though I've never met any of these folks, or perhaps I never will, they have still shared with me their life experience, and added to the richness of my own.
Next time you write an online article, consider how it might open the door to a new friend somewhere around the planet, and help you to more understanding, or a new culture. You'll be glad you wrote that article, and they'll be glad to have read it. Please consider all this and think on it.
ExperTrans language - multilingual services
ExperTrans voice-overs services
ExperTrans interpreting translation services
I believe the global Internet system has now brought the human race closer together, and it will prevent wars in the future, and help everyone understand each other's religions, culture, and way of life. It's amazing that people around the planet have the same fears, desires, and needs. Sometimes you wouldn't assume this by reading the newspaper or watching the news. It is nice to know the reality, and not be beholden to merely allow the forced fed media reports to jade your opinions.
Indeed, I've talked to people from New Zealand, Australia, South Pacific islanders, and people from China, Japan, South Korea, Vietnam, Singapore, and just about every other nation in that region. I talked with people from the Middle East, from Africa, and of course all through Europe. I've spoken with people from Central America and South America, and even our neighbors Canada and Mexico. I've sent e-mails to people in Russia, and even someone working on a project at the South Pole, I suppose via satellite.
How did all this transpire you ask? Well, people read articles I write, and then they contact me by e-mail. People are listening, people are talking, and people are communicating around the world. Yes, they do this on social networks, but if you will share your experiences, your dreams, and your fears in online articles, the world will respond from all corners, you will be blown away. Now then, even though I've never met any of these folks, or perhaps I never will, they have still shared with me their life experience, and added to the richness of my own.
Next time you write an online article, consider how it might open the door to a new friend somewhere around the planet, and help you to more understanding, or a new culture. You'll be glad you wrote that article, and they'll be glad to have read it. Please consider all this and think on it.
ExperTrans language - multilingual services
ExperTrans voice-overs services
ExperTrans interpreting translation services
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)